It was a challenge to be focused on anything today. I was worried (again) about Janneke. She hasn't been well these past two days although tonight, she seems a bit more herself again.
When Rachel or Janneke shows signs of being unwell, it is easy for me to sail over into worst-case scenarios. I get lost in their abnormalities, and I forget that they might be dealing with normal issues such as teething, colds, plugged plumbing, or ear aches. Instead, as it was with today, I worry about the pancreas or the esophagus or the kidneys or....
The anxiety usually takes root in the days when I am not sleeping well, and I become weak in the knees with concern. Over the course of the day, I feel as if I am working on my nursing degree with all the assessments and discussions I have: check vitals, listen for good bowel sounds, understanding the stomach quadrants, blood sugar levels, urine output, etc.
But, I am also reminded that I need to step back, breathe deeply, and trust. This afternoon, I took Em and Soph to the canal for some fresh air and let's-throw-some-rocks-in-the-water time. That was good.
It was also good to reflect on the past week. The Niagara Children's Centre School confirmed the enrolment for both Rachel and Janneke. Rachel will continue with another year of full-day program, and Janneke will begin the JK/SK morning program. Both girls will travel by bus to school in September!
I am grateful to have them once again at the centre school. Having a team of therapists involved so intensely is appreciated - and not taken for granted.
The women's conference -held last Saturday- was enjoyable, a bit of rest away from routine. When I shared our story at the gathering, the room that held 700 women felt like a close-knit circle of good friends, and the platform felt like Holy ground. A moment not easily forgotten.
On Monday and Tuesday, I was graced with the presence of five wonderful women - four aunts and my stepmom - as they took in some touring and visiting in the area. It was great to share some of my favourite spots with them as we visited a greenhouse, Niagara-on-the-Lake, our favourite local metal artist, wine-tasting, and other places. They gifted me with laughter, more stories, and a carved duck that now stands guard in our mudroom. Yep, a duck. (If you knew my Oma deWit, it would make sense to you.)
Yesterday, the first stage of Rachel and Janneke's indoor zip-lining course began. Some (boring) people call it ceiling tracking. Today, the guys finished another stage of the course, and, very soon, we hope to be using it to safely transfer the girls from bed to chair. Soph and Em have been asking what the weight limit is for the tracking and what type of slings we will order. I've not seen them so interested in mobility equipment before. Could they be quietly ordering their own harnesses?
Coming up next week on Thursday, May 2, we will participate in the annual Have a Heart Radiothon, hosted by Astral Media. The local radio stations will focus on stories from the Niagara Children's Centre, and they will help raise awareness of the therapy that is necessary for so many kids in Niagara. I will be on the radio at 6:30 in the morning (610AM/105.7FM/97.7FM)... yep, there'll be toothpicks holding the eyelids open.
Back to one day (and night) at a time. Here's hoping tonight quiet and restful - for all of us.