This afternoon, I watched yet another car speed through the crosswalk by my kids' school. I yelled a warning with my greeting to Gerry, our crossing guard. As I walked over to him, he said to me, "Don't worry. I'm still vertical."
I love that phrase, Gerry. I'm still vertical.
I need to remember that.
This week, I had one of "those nights" where I felt like stomping my feet, laying on the ground and having an explosive temper tantrum, the kind two-year-olds try to get away with. Nothing major happened -usually it's something very little that triggers the meltdown.
I was tired of the drool. Tired of the diapers. Tired of colds and flus. Tired of the laundry. Tired of the fact that none of this may change for my kids' lifetime...
Tired, well, of everything.
That phrase, "I'm still vertical" encourages me. To know that in those temper tantrums, His grace is extended to me. God went vertical for me on the cross.
The irony is that often when I am sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, exhausted, it is then I am reminded to be vertical.
Those feelings of frustration will pass. There will be something to laugh about -and the anger will dissolve.
What often dissolves my anger is the fact that both Rachel and Janneke love the sounds of yelling and crying. They grin at me and think the sound stimulation is so amazing. It's kind of funny, really.
* * *
Janneke has been alternating between fighting a drippy cold and exploring more cause/effect stimulation. She loves to make the screen change with the kneebouncers website, and we hung a string of lights from our curtain rod that she likes to touch when she is in her walker.
Rachel is also dealing with the leftovers of a cold, but she seems to tolerate all the congestion better than Janneke. She seemed well enough after the weekend to attend school this week. Today, we had our second visit to the chiropractor. She loves the massage and adjustment, and she is so relaxed after our session.
In fact, today, she was so relaxed that she was able to take her school day very seriously. NPCC School had a pajama day today, and apparently, she slept most of her school day in her chair. Isn't that what you are supposed to do in your pjs?
The week is ending on a quieter note than with which it started. The girls are getting better each day, sleeping and feeding as I type right now; our weekend looks pretty quiet. (Well, not for all of us, I suppose. Ralph is in a not-so-quiet gym out of town for a grades 7 and 8 volleyball tournament.)
Speaking of going vertical, Emily, Sophia, and I had a chance to watch two people set up for para surfing on the beach this week. It was a super cold and windy day, perfect to hitch yourself to a kite and surf, I guess. It was a beautiful sight to witness, masking the not-so-pretty guts and bravery necessary for the two people to actually take flight.